A Place to Stop and Reflect


Hello everyone this is the late Ellen's husband Curtis. I just wanted to let you now that Ellen's blog will remain as it is so that you can feel free to go back and look through her archives as I will myself when I might be taking a journey of our times together in my mind.

I would also like to take this time to thank all you wonderful people that supported Ellen and myself through her difficult fight with cancer. She was greatly touched and found it hard to believe that she had reached into the hearts of so many.

I loved her so much and she was such a part of me that now I have a difficult journey to make but I have our memories and this blog to come back to occasionally to help me along.

Again thanks to all of you for your kindness and support.

The Latest

Things have been rough lately. I am very weak physically, and having difficulty doing everyday things like bathing and walking. The nurse has been visiting every day, and is making arrangements for home care and a potty chair, etc. Also, arrangements are being made for daily home care in terms of ensuring my safety so that I don't fall while transferring to the bathroom or getting meals. Curtis has applied to Employment Insurance for compassionate care, so that he can take time off work to stay home and care for me.

Curtis is determined for us to still go for our cottage getaway, although we may not bother with the boat, since I am not very ambulatory. We can fish off the dock.

I spend almost no time at the computer, and have worn out my backspace key, making corrections as I type this. So if you email me, don't expect an immediate response.

Garden Bouquet





Sorry I've been AWOL lately; the fatigue has nailed me again. The palliative care nurse has been to see me practically every day, and she's steppin up my care: She has put in a request for a home care worker to come in every weekday morning and help me with breakfast and lunch, as well as washin up and gettin dressed if I want to. I am also going to get Victoria Lifeline, one of those personal alarm systems in case I keel over again.

In the meantime, Curtis is workin hard on the yard to keep it trimmed and pretty, and he brought some of our lilies indoors in photographs along with a few blossoms in a glass of water. He'll do anything to make me smile.

Patio Lanterns

My Favourite Spot



I dug up an old photo of the portion of our patio where our porch swing and chiminea sit; this year we have beautiful new patio lights. I'll have to get Curtis to photograph them for me. We have spent several consecutive evenings in front of a crackling chiminea fire, and it's a most relaxing way to end the day and take in some fresh air. Luckily, we have not been plagued by mosquitoes, despite the high count in the city this year. We enjoy watching a mama and papa bird fill up at our new feeders before retiring to their nest for the night, and Curtis has named (Buddy) and built a feeder for a squirrel that regularly runs our fence and forages for food. We also have our bunnies, so we have our own little wildlife refuge. Still haven't had any luck attracting hummingbirds, but we're tryin.

The Incredible Shrinking Woman



I've struggled with overweight my entire life, my closet a reflection of my yo-yoing weight. In recent years I just kept gaining, until I was wearing a size 1X-2X. Now I find that I can't keep any weight on, and I've shrunk to a size 8-10. None of my clothes fit any more. Luckily, when I was at a pool party last Saturday, I was given a big pile of really nice clothes - from the Gap, Club Monaco, Old Navy - that fit me perfectly. But I will need new clothes come the fall, that's for sure. I have filled three large boxes with clothes for my girlfriend, my sister-in-law and the Sally Ann. This was not my first purging; it's really hard to part with some favourite outfits and sweaters.

My appetite is really poor, my taste buds are all messed up, and I throw up a lot of what I do manage to eat. Yes, I have meds for this but they can do only so much. This afternoon I have a consultation at the CancerCare Clinic, but I suspect all they will do there is cluck sympathethically and suggest Boost or Ensure, which is like drinkin motor oil.

Cranes!


Here I am, with the most unforgettable gift I've ever gotten.




If you go to Kathy's crane project blog (http://craneproject.blogspot.com/), and you click to the older posts, you'll not only see the process of this wonderful surprise, but a video made by Herman on how to fold the paper cranes. When you see the tremendous amount of time and effort it takes to fold just one crane, it's no wonder I fall apart when I think of all that went into the folding of 1113 of them!


How can I ever thank you enough, my friends?


I was impressed with how painstakingly Kathy had strung the cranes, each with a bead between them.


With each blog name I came across, my emotions overcame me more.


This is the most meaningful gift I've ever received, and I will appreciate it until my last breath. I feel its healing power coursing through me.