Church Potluck



Is there anything that beats a good ol potluck supper? This evening is our church's lady's dinner, which is prepared by the men's breakfast club at the church. Because it is doubling as our formal farewell to Father Robin, who preaches his last sermon for us tomorrow (*snuffle*), there will be more people in attendance than usual, so I phoned one of the wardens and offered to "have Curtis prepare" whatever was needed. An appetizer would be appreciated, I was told; so today I picked up some delicious German sausage (I don't know what it's called, but sliced thinly, it looks like a flower) and pinned it with toothpicks around gherkin pickles. Placed on a couple of fancy serving dishes, they're attractive as well as yummy.

Tomorrow after church, I will attend my nephew's fiancee's bridal shower, which is being held in a hall at a local motel. For her, I spent many hours making up a recipe box with 61 of my best, tried-and-true recipes (she has asked for some of them several times), prettily typed onto colourful templates and laminated to protect them against spatters. The box is wrapped in a tea towel with wooden spoons instead of a bow for decoration. I hope she enjoys it, because a lot of love went into it.

What to wear to these occasions is a bit of a quandry, as my chest, underarms and shoulders are all marked up with a blue Sharpie pen for radiation. The ink rubs off, and has already ruined one of my best undies as well as a couple of nighties. Needless to say, I've been wearin a lot of blue. I have two more therapy sessions to attend, on Tuesday and Wednesday, and then we'll see the true effects, both good and unpleasant, of the treatments.

Curtis and I ran a lot of errands early today, and it's time for me to take a rest before we go to the church for our dinner. But in my mind and my heart constantly, are Rocky and his loved ones, who celebrate his life at a memorial service at 3:00 CST today. God bless.

In Loving Memory of Rocky



Today Curtis' and my thoughts and prayers go out to the Rockenbach/Strain family, in heartfelt sympathy for the passing of a man's man - Rocky - last evening. God's blessings and continued strength go out to Esther and Becky, who stayed by Rocky's side and took such loving care of him throughout his battle.

Rest in peace, dear Rocky.

I Found Nemo



Just kidding. I love sushi, but not sashimi, which is sushi made with raw fish/fish eggs. I stick to the vegie and tempura shrimp sushi, although I have enjoyed a smoked salmon variety. Curtis says he thinks he's ready to try sashimi, but not this cowgirl.

After a couple of days of miserable nausea, my medication has settled me down some, so in a couple of hours we're gonna head over to the south end of town to Masa restaurant, which is where my friend Kim and I had lunch last Tuesday. Delicious, and wonderfully fresh. I brought the leftovers home for Curtis that day, and he's been dyin to have some more ever since.

Who'd a thunk it: a sushi-eatin hillbilly.

Another Lovely Surprise Encounter Today at CancerCare


Right after this posting, it's naptime for this puppy.

One of my radiation technicians today was a former student of mine at Sisler High School. Shawna S graduated in 1997, and she was and is a lovely girl, a vivacious redhead with a sweet personality. She told me that I had made a huge impact on her with respect to charity....she was one of the kids who helped build food and gift hampers for the needy, and she said she still remembers the people to whom we delivered them, one little old dear named Sophie, in particular. She added that, before I was her English teacher, she had never participated in the Christmas Cheer Board Drive, but that she has done so every year since. "A bunch of us have; that's how much you affected us," she declared.

Made me feel like a million bucks.

I Met a Blogger Today!



I went for my markings and my first radiation treatment today. In order to mark precisely where the machine has to be set each time, a couple of attendants first make markings (it's called tattooing) with a Sharpie pen and place stickers all over the area that is to be radiated. Then they run you through a ct-scanner, then embellish their markings. While they feed the data into a computer, you have to lie perfectly still on the steel table - not the most comfortable mattress I've ever sampled. I mean, I like a firm mattress, but that's goin a bit too far. Thankfully, I was wrapped up in two heated blankets for the duration. After about 20 minutes, they scan you again and remove the stickers.

Following that, I was asked to report for radiation in about an hour and a quarter; I was free to go get some lunch, which I did. After returning to the waiting lounge, I nearly fell asleep in one of the chairs, when I got escorted into the treatment room.

The beams are going to be aimed at my tumor from two glancing angles (to avoid any damage to my lung), so they radiate for 40 seconds from my right side, then move the camera underneath my body and radiate again from there.

When I emerged from the changing room after having put my clothes back on, this really attractive woman smiled at me hugely and asked if I was ellen c; I said yes, but I couldn't for the life of me place her. Well, it was fellow blogger Penny Halston, who was accompanying her dad for his markings. She sure is a lot younger looking than her age. We hugged and chatted for a few minutes, but then I got whisked away by a nurse, who took me into a consultation room to talk to me about skincare of the radiated area. They always give you the worst case scenario, but I sure hope I don't suffer as much as she indicated I might: the armpit is the area of concern. I can deal with the sunburn effect on my back, but I pray that I don't have skin breakdown and blistering in my underarm, yowch. I have to use really mild soap, not shave or use deoderant (at least the radiation will kill the hair), and use a particular lotion, which Curtis picked up for me on his way home from work. I am having only 10 therapy sessions in total, so that will help to minimize the side effects.

After three hours at CancerCare, I drove over to the nursing home to visit my mom. She wasn't as agitated as usual so that made things easier. An hour and half there, and I was exhausted and my shoulder was killin me; so I drove home, took a couple of painkillers and crashed. From now on, I'll be in and out of CancerCare much more quickly. I will go every weekday for the next 9 of them.

Today was the warmest day of the year, although it is supposed to rain for the next few days. That should get rid of the very last of the snow lurkin in the bushes, at least.

It was such a pleasant surprise to run into Penny; I only wish we could have spent more time together. Who knows: Maybe we'll see each other again in the next couple of weeks. I hope so.

Hope


For me, rainbows have always been a symbol of hope and renewal. This lovely one was emailed to Curtis by a friend.

Well, I received a call from the Radiation Therapy department at CancerCare today: I'm to go in for markings and my first treatment on Wednesday at 11. The timing is perfect, because I have carpet cleaners hired to steam clean on Monday, and a luncheon date with a friend on Tuesday. For the next couple of weeks from then, I will likely be going for treatments every day. I take it as a good sign that things fell into place so nicely for me.

If you haven't read Curtis' latest post, you really should. It's one of the rare occasions that he reveals his feelings about his experience as a caregiver. An eloquent expression of his devotion. Make sure you have a hanky.

Radiation

I had planned to grab a couple of Wendy's Frosty's and visit my mom at the nursing home before heading over to CancerCare for my appointment with the radiologist, but my car wouldn't start. It appears that leavin it in the garage, unused, for weeks, made the battery go dead. (Curtis is out there right now puttin a trickle charger on it.) So Curtis had to come home from work and take me.

Dr L showed us my lung scans, which clearly showed the shoulder tumor from many angles. It seems to be attached to the musculature, not the bone or the tumors inside my lung (over which Dr L expressed relief). He felt that the mass would be easily accessible and expressed optimism that it might shrink with radiation treatment. He figures we can start next week (they'll let me know asap), and will require only a couple of weeks of rads.

Sounds good to me.

Not Good News

I had a bad feeling about my consultation at the CancerCare clinic today, so Curtis came home from work early to go with me. Because they are closed for four days over the Easter long weekend, today is the busiest day of the year at the clinic. We had a very long wait at the lab before I got my blood taken; but just as we walked into the consultation area, I was called; so the timing was perfect.

I have lost 7 more pounds since my last visit 4 weeks ago, and my ct-scan showed that the cancer has become very active: Already existing tumors in my lung and pancreas are growing, and there are many new ones that have appeared. Clearly, the Sutent every other day at such a low dosage, although much more tolerable, isn't strong enough to fight the disease. Dr C suggested that we might have reached the end of the road when it comes to drug treatment.

Then he said there was one other option: Another drug similar to Sutent. He said there was really no data as to whether I would derive any benefit from it, and he added that he would be merely guessing as to dosage, given my sensitivities (he would likely start me at half dosage). It would be a real shot in the dark. Dr C said I didn't have to decide right then; I could think things over for a while.

Initially, I resigned myself to terminating treatment (except for radiation, for pain relief/palliative purposes); but I knew my family, especially my brother Fred, wouldn't accept me giving up even a slim opportunity to fight off this Beast....so I have already left a voice message with Dr C's nurse, that I'd like to give the other drug a try. If it doesn't work, or I can't tolerate it, at least I can say I gave it my best effort.

On the way home from the clinic, Curtis and I cried a little together, and then we drowned our sorrows the way we often do: with FOOD. We stopped at the same little Chinese restaurant we tried out a couple of weeks ago. It was really good. On the way home, I got a call from the radiologist's nurse to come in Thursday afternoon to get the ball rolling on rads on my shoulder blade.

I'm not goin down without a fight.

Our Easter Weekend in Grand Forks

We didn't find any bargains at Cabela's this time, but we did finally remember to take the camera into the store with us to get some shots of their magnificent wildlife display.

Curtis told you most of the details in his blog; but, in short, we had a good time. He has a bunch more photos on his page.

As Curtis mentions, it was cold but sunny the entire weekend, and the hard winds didn't stop us from raiding some of our favourite stores: Big Lots (which is, sadly, closing down, but where I got my 10 dollar-plus shampoo for 2.75 and 2 pair of Britannia jeans for 9 bucks each), The Dollar Tree (Curtis discovered canned collard greens and turnip greens), the Super K-Mart (I bought shorts and t-shirts for the summer at really cheap prices), and several others. It was nice to meet Wal-Mart greeters who actually say hello and speak to you, nice to see fire lanes empty of standing cars flashing hazard lights, and fun to look at the vast variety of every kind of merchandise, especially in the grocery stores.

The cats were perfect angels while we were away: no barfs or hairballs anywhere, no mess or sign that they had thrown a wild party or anything. They were glad to see us, and have been stuck to us like velcro since we got home. It's nice to be loved.

And I've had TWO Krispy Kremes today *burp* (scuse me).

Tomorrow I head over to CancerCare; will I be given another month's supply of Sutent, and a radiation schedule, or will treatments be terminated? I've been worried because I haven't heard anything about rads, and spooked by Esther and Rocky's sad news. Wish me luck.

Happy Easter



Twice this week parcels have arrived at my door, containing Easter surprises from my big ol hillbunny. A few days ago it was 3 t-shirts and 2 fleece cardigans decorated with a few of my favourite things: kittens, hummingbirds and flowers. It seems that one of our favourite catalogue companies was having a sale, and Curtis took advantage to get me some clothes that fit.

Then, yesterday, I opened the door to a huge basket from The Mulberry Tree. It was filled with a delicious assortment of gourmet chocolates.


tearin into it

Our two boy cats can't resist baskets, ribbon and the nesting paper in the baskets, so we had to lock my goodies up in the bathroom overnight to keep them from chokin to death. It was mighty warm in that room this morning, and I didn't want all the chocolate to melt. so onto Plan B.


Yum

Brats. Thanks to those darn cats, I've had to deconstruct the basket. I don't want to come back from a weekend in Grand Forks to find sick cats and kitty vomit full of curling ribbon all over the house.


Am I spoiled or what?

Happy Easter, everyone. We'll be back from America with a full report on Easter Sunday.