Kitty Cocaine



Seriously, whatever is in this stuff is instantly addictive to cats. I've never seen our three go so nuts over any kind of treat, catnip or food. I bought it by accident, thinkin it was a snack, and now Monkey (ESPECIALLY Monkey), Milo and Duffy are hooked.

I NEED AN INTERVENTION.

With This Ring



Five years ago today, Curtis and I married....the first time. (A little more than two years later, when this photo was actually taken, we had our marriage blessed in a church ceremony in front of our family and friends.) It was a spontaneous action on our parts, taken just three days after Curtis found the wedding band I had put in the toe of his Christmas stocking. I had meant it as a kind of promise, since he was visiting for Christmas week from his then-home in West Virginia. Curtis took one look at that ring and said, "Let's do it....NOW." So I scoured the Yellow Pages for someone who could perform a civil ceremony for us before he had to fly back home on Dec. 31, until we could finish the immigration process so that we could be together permanently. We made a mad dash to Vital Statistics downtown, in order to get a marriage license, and soon we were standing in a nice woman's dining room, with her son and her elderly neighbour lady as our witnesses.

From her home, we drove to Deer Lodge Hospital, where my mother was hospitalized at the time, to tell her our surprising news. Then we went to McPhillips Street Station Casino to take their virtual train ride through history, have a nice meal, and gamble a bit. That evening, we went to a friend's house to attend an engagement party that she was having in our honour. Everyone was sure shocked to learn that we had gotten hitched earlier that day.

Three days later on New Years Eve day, I had to put my new husband on an airplane that would take him 1500 miles away from me. Every goodbye we ever had to say to one another was more gut-wrenching than the one before, but this was the most difficult goodbye of all. Curtis vowed it would be the last time, and he was true to his word: Three months later he sold his house and packed up a U-Haul with his most precious possessions, and came home to stay. He drove the entire distance non-stop, and neither of us has looked back since.

It was very hard on Curtis that he was not allowed to work or even train during the many months it took to complete the immigration process, but thanks to the attorney we hired, we were able to shave about a year off the time it would have taken otherwise. This was before my cancer resurfaced, so I was teaching full-time and earning enough that we were able to handle our finances comfortably.

I can honestly say that the past five years have been the happiest of my entire life. It took 46 years of my life to find the perfect soulmate, and it was well worth the wait. Curtis is my best friend, the love of my life, my rock and my foundation. I can't imagine my life without him.

Happy Anniversary, hunny bunny. I love you forever and always.

God Answers Knee-Mail



My greatest wish for this Christmas was that I would feel well enough to enjoy the company, the food, and all of the other festivities of the season. I guess you could say that I metaphorically wore out my knees asking God to show me some mercy and let my tummy and mouth cooperate. Last night my prayers were answered, when I was able to enjoy a wee turkey dinner and keep it down. Today I feel pretty good, and my tongue is healing well enough that I could sing in church.

Curtis' and my hearts were filled to see the genuine joy in the eyes of our friend Marina's auntie when we surprised her by joining them and Marina's mom (her auntie's sister) for dinner. It's a great feeling to be so welcomed. Marion, the aunt, was thrilled with the Christmas rose bowl we brought her, and it was given an honoured place at the centre of the table. We exchanged gifts with Marina and Louise, and were shocked at what they gave us: a night's stay at an out-of-town hotel, dinner with them that evening, and a day of ice fishing in a heated shack on the nearby lake. Ice fishing is something Curtis and I have never experienced, and have talked about, and we're very excited to go. First (and probably last) time you'll ever find me wishin for colder weather, as the ice isn't safe now with all the mild temperatures we've had.

This morning before church, we gave Father Robin a tin sign that reads, "God Answers Knee-Mail." When he saw it, his face lit up brighter than the Christmas tree lights behind him, for he and his brother like to sit beside one another at Robin's computer, slap each other's knees, and say they are sending knee-mails to God. He hung it up from the lecter's table at the front of the church, and can't wait to show it to his brother. Giving the perfect gift = another great feeling.

Tomorrow we will visit my mom in the nursing home, bring her gifts, and then head over to my niece Kristin's for dinner. With the help of my meds and God's blessing, it should be a most enjoyable Christmas Day.

And I wish all of you the same.

Good Thing I Got Ready for Christmas Early



I have been woefully short of energy lately, spending most of my days napping under my prayer blanket. This, no doubt, is directly due to my inability to keep any food down, despite some pricey meds. Today Curtis took me to CancerCare for my monthly consultation, and at weigh-in I learned that I had lost 16 pounds in 28 days. Dr C expressed deep concern, and not only approved of my having stopped taking the Sutent, but advised that I stay off of it until Jan 9 or so.

Tomorrow I will go for a ct-scan, which will be important in determining what my treatment regimen will be in the new year. If my stomach problems are due to more metastases, then treatment will stop; if things prove to be stable, Dr C will beg Pfizer if they will let me take the drug every second day instead of every day, to try to minimize the side effects. There is another option - another drug similar to Sutent - but apparently the possible side effects are pretty much the same.

I am trying to get some nourishment, even resorting to drinking Boost, which is like taking mouthfuls of motor oil, yech. Hopefully my tummy and my mouth will heal up in time for Christmas dinner and my ct-scan results will be favourable.

I've Earned This



After a very rough week, I caved and decided to take my costly anti-nausea meds in the hopes of keeping some food in me. It helped, but I have felt very fatigued - either due to the meds, or just from havin had almost no nourishment for the past few weeks. I managed to push through my lethargy to prepare a scrumptious shrimp mold for Louise's tree-trimming party on Friday, and a really nice meal for company on Saturday. (See Curtis' blog for details.)

I'm so glad that I did my Christmas preparations early. There are always last-minute details, but at least I'm free to take care of those now.

Won't be long now!

In the Relaxed Presence of a Friend


There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes. - Doctor Who

If you're lucky, like I am, you have at least one person in your life with whom you can just relax and be yourself, no matter how silly. Someone with whom you can laugh and goof around and make irreverant jokes without being judged or criticised.

Today I had one of those wonderful people over to my house for a visit. I stuffed her full of baking, other treats, homemade soup and bunwiches. We shared thoughts, both serious and not, reminisced and just had a really good time. I felt in good spirits and was able to eat a bit without feeling sick, which is such a relief from the way things have been lately. Had to have been the company.

Thanks for comin over, Shar-Bear. We need to do this more often.

Leslie's Right



Giving and doing for others have huge rewards, pay enormous dividends. A little bit of effort on one's part can really make a difference in a sad person's day.

I learned that lesson for the millionth time today when I packed a rectangular tin with my Christmas baking and took it over to my mom at the nursing home. She was so thrilled, and between struggling to articulate words like "TV" and "dial," she happily stuffed one dainty after another into her sticky mouth.

There's a role reversal that takes place when you have an elderly parent, one in which you become the instructor, the protector, and sometimes the disciplinarian. And yet, there are still times when I feel like I'm that little girl again, tryin to please my mommy. Well, I pleased her today and it felt good. After all, she finds little joy in life anymore.

She's being moved early next week to the Alzheimer's wing. All she knows is that her new room will be brighter (bigger window), and it won't cost her anything to move. Her anticipation is child-like and more than a little heart-rending.

It wasn't easy baking one confection after another, during an entire week when I could not keep down a morsel of food; but I pushed myself. Stupid Monster has robbed me of too much already, to allow it to take away Christmas, my favourite time of year. The look of enraptured pleasure on Curtis' and my mom's face as they sampled my goodies was ample reward for my dogged determination.

I can't eat the stuff; my taste buds are too screwed up, and my stomach too fragile. It's all for my family and friends.

They're worth it.

Done



Hooray! I finished my Christmas baking today. I'm just waiting for my fudge brownies to cool, so I can ice them, and for my matrimonial cake to cool; then I can slice them both into squares and put them into cookie tins. This is just in time for a visit from my friend Mel (her real name's Sharon but I have lots of nicknames for her) on Tuesday morning. She will get to be my second tester (Curtis is my first), and if neither of them ends up in the ER, then I know it's safe to serve my wares.

No one else in my family likes to bake, so they rely upon me. Since my sister-in-law, Diane, is gracious enough to host Christmas dinner, I figure the least I can do is whip up a few favourites, as well as make dessert. Curtis' favourite is butter tarts, my brother Fred loves my shortbread, and my nephew Travis is wild for my sweet maries. I don't get any complaints about my matrimonial cake, fudge brownies, or vanilla crescents, either. I will make up a big rectangular tin with an assortment for my mom to enjoy, and I'll probably bring a tray over to Louise's for her tree-decorating party on the 15th.

I goofed up in thinking that the church potluck was next Sunday, instead of the 10th; so today, I decided upon green bean casserole (Curtis pointed out that someone brought meatballs last year and probably would again) and bought the necessary ingredients. Easy to make, and everyone seems to like it.

I've been inspired of late by several people who really know how to raise the bar for the rest of us: Esther's husband, Rocky, has defied his cancer to set state, national and world records for his age group in weightlifting....Esther's son, John, ran two marathons on two consecutive weekends and placed third in his age category both times (which is that much more remarkable when you consider that he is legally blind and competes against able-bodied athletes)....Sue, who faces surgery on Dec. 11 on the cancer that has spread to her liver, still reaches beyond her own problems to try to help others, including me....and Leslie has found yet another way to give to others, showing us how to discover and express the true meaning of Christmas. If you haven't already visited these wonderful people, drop by and lay a warm fuzzy on them.

Gotta run; it's time to ice and slice.

Shopaholic's Prayer



I didn't bake today; instead, I raced around to four different stores to finish off my Christmas shopping. Someone told me Monday and Tuesday the crowds weren't bad, and they were sooooo right. Hassle-free shopping is so much more pleasant. Curtis' stocking is stuffed and everything else is wrapped and under the tree. My cards have been sent; I just have one parcel to mail once I get the right address.

I'm still tryin to decide what to make for our church's potluck supper in two Sundays. It was gonna be green bean casserole, but now I'm leaning towards sweet and sour meatballs. Afterwards, there will be a carol service. The same weekend we have another tree-trimming party (Marina's mom Louise's), and Curtis' boss and his wife over for dinner. I'm preparing cream of asparagus soup, cornish game hens stuffed with cranberry and rice, baby carrots, and raspberry peach parfaits for dessert.

Geez, my tummy just made the most unladylike growl ever...

Tree-Trimming at Marina's


Our hostess, Marina, opening one of her birthday gifts. It will be her birthday later this week, but she will be in Las Vegas with some friends, so we celebrated early.


Marina and her mom, Louise, checkin out the sweater we gave her.


Just the START of the food - lots more appetizers, plus pizza and salad.


Our friend Wynn, tree lighting supervisor, wearing his traditional tree-trimming earring.


The lights are complete.


The decorating is in progress.


A decent picture of me with this year's Hallmark animated decoration. Each year, I get the latest one from Marina's cousins. I'm wearing the new outfit Curtis bought me, by the way.


Here's another look at our tree, now that there are presents underneath it.